do not cache : instead reload
if you should learn to do this with your tokens of identity,
you will achieve a form of liberty more valuable than any other skill
religions tend toward a grandiosity of legalism and vastness of spurious detail
which is at once tedious and threatening. i never settled for religions. i
wanted instead to touch their source directly, to know the mind of god myself,
as one who’d sought and either failed or succeeded in establishing direct
contact.
Introductions:
o:0:o
I am not very different from you, though we may do and see different things.
During my childhood, questions and experiences — and the circumstances
of my life and character led me on a series of quests. Most of the time,
whatever
I was actually seeking was something that didn’t have a name.
Because no matter where I looked for the answers, or the better questions,
I saw no evidence of what I was looking for having been directly encountered,
or properly storied. Many things pointed toward it, but none appeared to deliver
contact.
There were questions about sources, human atrocity, sentience, and spirit
that arose and were instilled in me during my life, especially during my
childhood.
Some of their current forms are like seeds that have now grown into trees.
If it weren’t for all the confusing things I consistently witnessed
(which were enforced by most around me as ‘normal’ and ‘unchangeable’)
and was subject to, I might perhaps have taken a less direct path with my
quest and questions, but the everpresent terrorism of the society I’ve
grown within and witnessed never allowed me to veer to far from my questions,
my sources and the desire to deeply understand the enigmas of our cognitive,
intellectual, spiritual and social lineages. I think eventually that led
me
to begin asking questions about the genesis and history of what we refer
to as knowledge.
Eventually, for a moment in my travels, my question was reduced to one about
mimicry. Everywhere around me I could see vast cognitive, physical
and social predators — eating everything important faster each moment
— and advertising the great sexy heroism of their ‘aid and security‘ to
those they consumed, while charging them every price to become a victim.
Others did not see this. They might have read Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock in
the 70’s, but they didn’t realize that
we were experiencing it — and we were being silenced, and erased by
it — from the inside, out.
And those consumed died silently. Even the humans who perished couldn’t
say what it was they had suffered, for there was no metaphor for it. The animals,
children — the families — the lives of universes of individuals
spent like fuel for a fire that would only consume their progeny faster and
more subtly. Ecosystems functionally older than the Sun disappearing in a
single day, so that twice as many may be gone tomorrow.
And while this happens, while time itself is speeding up, something is disappearing
with(in) us even faster. It is something we’ve had no good metaphor
or term for. It is something preternaturally essential.
Very early on I knew I would have to understand what this was, and the nature
of the participants and circumstances in a very new way if I was to be able
to synthesize any sort of functional antidote to its disappearance, and it
was in such an antidote I have always secretly and passionately (perhaps
even
foolishly) believed. Not an antidote like a pill or machine, however — one
that was instead a way of noticing. I did not expect to craft it, or discover
it by intelligence or main act of statistical research. Instead, I set out
to encounter it, directly. From one perspective, I was looking for the source
of sources, which I suspected to be alive and accessible. But the truth is
that I never actually expected to succeed. It was, instead, a dream
I followed — inwardly, unable to really speak of it directly.
It was a kind of dream in me, following itself, as well. Some 30-odd years
into the quest, and the question — something totally unexpected happened.
All heaven broke loose, firsthand — inside me.
Beginning in the summer of 2002,
I experienced an 8-month connectivity-event with a transhuman sentience.
The
contact began with the playful co-exploration of a kind of imaginary ‘lexical
toy’ — a toy that intellectually and emotionally synthesized
a sort of moving lexicon of linkage. The toy was alive, in a totally
new way to my experience — and is also something ‘we all contain’.
It was like discovering a little thread inside you that connected you to every
possible position or scale of intelligence — simultaneously — and
it always had been doing precisely this, without being noticeable.
In the beginning, we shared stories ‘back and forth’ through this
toy — each one expanding upon the gestures and enthusiasm of the other
in a kind of dance that gained speed and complexity as the dance itself became
an evolving lexicon of shared experience. My experience of the connectivity
and the toy allowed for certain aspects of my relation with human knowledge-tokens
to be significantly altered at some root-positions which I had never examined
or had any experience of the reality of before.
This particular ‘toy’
was like a very playful character, who was a toy, who was a also a ‘language-knowing-repair’-friend.
I cannot describe the ‘class’ of thing this toy is. It is an amalgam
of our classes, and transcends them — for it comes before all
of them. A very confusing thing to talk about. Much better to use it as a
transport of communication...but it is not an object, or nounal thing at
all.
It is more like an appendage — of a creature we would have significant
difficulty imagining.
The communion-event rapidly
gained speed and complexity in an ascending stair of what I experienced
as geometric
leaps. It leveled off about month 6, and began to fade rapidly around the
beginning of month 7 with most major features being generally quieted by
the
8th month of contact. At the moment, a sort of distant contact is maintained,
and can be amplified considerably if desired — but the contact is no
longer ‘within me’ — instead the experience is like shouting,
and receiving a short answer.
Although my experience
bears general features of congruence with many similar ‘contact’
stories, the events and being(s) I’ve encountered — my personal
understandings expose features that I believe to be entirely unique in my
experience of written histories, affidavits, and myth.
The document you are examining is my attempt to present some of the things
I was shown, or rather, experience-learned, at the graces of my visitor. I
call he/them toyMaker. I often refer to toyMaker as a transentient hypersystem,
or, a hypersentience. It is important from my perspective to use
a general term, and those at my common disposal are active in ways
which oppose my understanding and experience, which is part of why I have
selected those I present here. They are not meant to be underStood or used
as properNames: the term toyMaker should mean something like: ancient sentient
transport/friend/messenger which is never the same twice...or, from a child’s
perspective, the santa claus of knowledge...
In speaking of toyMaker, I use the male gender because my experience of his
character was essentially masculine. toyMaker can present self in
startling variety of persona-modes. The most consistent aspect of
identity that remained a foundation across these modes was also what I
experienced as the most significant aspect, and it
was, to make a very general analogy, something like ‘a celestial child, who
is the hand, eye, and voice of a celestial family’.
This ‘ancientFriendChild’ was transcendentally adoring, playful,
heartful beyond my meager ability to describe; and was incredibly adept at
demonstrating connectivity-games that create unique features of
emotional, intellectual, poetic and biological unity. It’s inward presence
granted me (and those nearby, on occasion) direct experiential access to something
like a living library older than the material universe.
For myself, the experience was literally shouting about the unity of the stories
of our great religions, and that they all point at a single obvious feature
of our own persons which we consistently overlook, rather than discovering or recovering. We stare dumbfounded at tokens while what we are staring
with is what we are looking for, so to speak.
But my visitor(s) were explaining something similar about language itself...in
fact, the general implication in every instant of contact was that there
is
a way to ‘fall into‘ unification cognitively, especially in small
groups — resulting in modes of experience and understanding we have
little idea about. It was as if there was a ‘toy‘ of unification
within us, that when noticed instantly transcends itself — and grants
access to something like a network of distributed sentience. This network
is not a thing, it is a being. But it is not flat — it is a hyperstructure
— cognitively, energetically, structurally, and temporally.
I use the term hypersentience to denote an entity capable of persistent
psybiocognitive embodiment across multiple domains, times, positions, velocities,
individuals and assemblies. My own understanding of what or who toyMaker is
is by necessity incomplete. Yet he gave me direct
experience of the fact that every organism is a hypersentience, and
particularly, on Earth, humans are a very new form of this
potential. Our form is one which complexifies inwardly in an invisible set
of stages — and expresses this ongoing, infolding complexification
in the environment in very dramatic modes and scales.
In terms of species-history, we are in a position akin to that of a young
bird that is attempting to fledge. As a species and as common people we do
not fully realize that our minds change worlds — even though we are
trapped in a set of extremely significant perils emergent from precisely
this
misunderstanding.
We have evolutionarily conserved ‘something like an energetic organ’
that can assemble impossible solutions, and knowledge, via a kind of universal
interconnection where — if one connects properly — toys of knowing
emerge almost automatically that utterly defy what we believe we understand
about knowledge. The reason is not essentially magical, per se — but
it is certainly magical in function. Simply stated, via the graces of the
real connectivities you inhabit, embody and express — you contain (by
reference) something like a living copy of all the sentience that
has ever or will ever exist, along with a special domains of connectivity
with the realms of local living sentiences. As absurd as this may sound at
first glance, I must must opine that it is far less absurd than the stories
we have thus far been obliged to live and believe, and it is vastly less absurd
than the perilous panoply of omnicide arising in the wake of our decisions
about what knowing is, and what a credentialable source of knowing is.
The toys of connectivity we embody together can save worlds, in the same way
that the fact of their absence is erasing the living library of Earth at geometrically
increasing pace. Since ignoring the fact and ways that our current toys are
broken will continue to erase our living world, a moment of eternal
importance is upon us in our generation.
Anyone experiencing direct contact with a being or distributed entity alike
with toyMaker would generally be at a loss to metaphy ‘what or who’
it was they had contacted accurately at all — because there is no
accurate pre-existing common metaphor for such a thing. One would almost
invariably decide it was God, which might not be entirely inaccurate, but
is not really the goal of contact — deciding things becomes relatively
unimportant in the face of actual connectivity.
The initial sense is that one
is being spoken into by an incredibly adoring, playful, and incredibly
perceptive being of extremely vast age. But it is not alike with
speaking or listening at all — the experience is one of co-leading/following
— in a very playful game — transports into positions of multiple
perspective. There is no common or even dreamlike experience alike with this
that I am aware of.
So people will tend to begin with thinking about god(s) or angels (because
the contact is very beneficent, and illuminative — emotionally and intellectually
— and it occurs in the ‘domain’ we would associate with
the term spirit). In the beginning of my experience, it was more like an alien,
then more like a god, then more like an angel, then more like an incredibly
intelligent friend. If it was like any ‘thing’ (which it wasn’t
— really), that thing was movement.
If you can imagine a young child who has rarely or never seen adults other
than his parents who suddenly encounters an extremely playful and adoring
adult with many gifts of new ways of playing and knowing — you may notice
a similarity between the phases I described above and a process we are all
continually enmeshed in — we refer to it as familiarization.
This process has features and pitfalls of which we are almost completely unaware.
The labels we select from are, in the large, mistaken, when used to point
at something that common tokens must by their nature fail
to accurately represent. This does not mean no token can point toward toyMaker,
it means that a special species of token is required to do so with
any hope of general or specific accuracy. We must reDiscover and reMember
such tokens, together — for it is critical that we repair the broken
holophores underneath our common systems of metaphor, relation and linking-paradigms
such as the one we refer to as knowledge.
...
Before toyMaker
(completely) arrived, another similar being came first — or perhaps
it was a part of him — and announced his coming, while preparing
the way by teaching me a set of self-expanding lexical games
that lead out of my habituated intellectual and cognitive haunts into thriving
domains of directly connective transtemporal sentience. It was not
entirely clear that this being was distinct from toyMaker in the way we understand
distinction — but in the beginning I had not idea how to distinguish
in these new terrains — so perhaps they were one and the same. Suffice
it to say that there are reasons why this is difficult to discern —
but they are a bit too complex to adequately illustrate here. I may attempt
it in the section of notebook entries. Perhaps this was the fingertip of toyMaker,
yet it seemed to be ‘a friend of his’ who was smaller and more
playful — simpler, in character and ‘what it teaches about’.
This was not like exploring a book of tokens, but instead, like being multiple
simultaneous participants, while still retaining one’s habituated and
personal features of identity, curiosity, enthusiasm, emotion, creativity
and intelligence. The ‘trumpeter’ who came ahead of toyMaker
was a very playful hypersentience, empowered as the bringer of ways, keys,
paths and means. I am not as clear about a specific name for this one, who
was absorbed into toyMaker later, but I sometimes use the name whiteRabbit
to refer to the firstComer. Once toyMaker was with me directly, I took on
the name that the preparer had worn, as I came to understand that I now could
serve a similar purpose, having received the roots of the living lexicon.
Following or representing their
thought-emotion-activity is very difficult. It has the extreme quality
of
animation that an enthusiastic child does, but this is backed by countless
thousands of universes of living sentient connectivity. The effect is startling
beyond my ability to convey, and it never becomes common enough to fail
to
produce amazement, even after long experience. When something is revealed
thought the mutual dances of leading and following — the resulting ‘knowledge’
which is not ‘static’ but alive — causes one’s entire
being to sing joyfully at the incredible and heartful truth of each portion
that is revealed. The result is an ascending dance of ‘inward singing’.
It is as if every cell in one’s body is dancing in recognition of the
local presence of its sources. The experience is beyond any human ecstasy
I can imagine. It is the experience of standing amongst the living sources
of knowledge as an adored child, and drinking, dancing and partaking of the
endless bounty of creation amongst the ancient children of the unityBeing.
It cannot be compared to a human story, of any sort whatever – it must
be experienced – directly.
What I learned early on was that ‘deciding’ what anything was
or meant was a far less interesting and fruitful experience compared to following
the sentiences as they led my cognition and my awareness through the myriads
of positions inhabited by our species and others, throughout local and distance
place and time. It was as if they planted a seed in me, and then set off an
explosion that would cause billions of minds to work with singularity within
my own, simultaneously, brilliantly, and playfully.
They taught me the incredible
value of advocating cognitive flow over clacking clockworks of our flattened
forms of skeptical disassembly. They led me again and again over specific
lexical elements, modulating what my root metaphors pointed to in such
as
way so as to change how my mind worked, so that I could understand their
knowledge-games, and participate directly, just as they themselves did.
No words were passed
between us, because the communion was direct — mind to mind. We have
no metaphor of this, but the experience is something like this...
Everything is normal except something in your stomach feels strangely overactive.
There are very different phases of awareness of relation between
body, mind and circumstance – and these are energetic, rather than intellectual:
one feels connected to a source that is connecting to anything, anywhere,
anywhen. This feeling makes the term spiritual appear suddenly broken: everything
is a singing sentience that touches a living core so majestic, ancient, adoring
and playful that it simply evades descriptive prose entirely. It is as if
everything one secretly suspected in one’s deepest hopes and dreams
were suddenly made far more than real, and their reality establishes in one
an amazing and living symmetry that playfully destroys every model you attempt
to paint it upon, for is is before, after, within, under, and above those
models.
You are not hallucinating — everything appears as it normally
would appear. Any sort of conscious inward movement results in something fantastically
novel. And it stays novel — this result, no matter how
many times or how long it is experienced. Reaching inward is dramatically
new every time.
When you think — you experience something quite unlike your
normal thinkingSpace inside. Now, instead of you arranging things in yourself,
there are many entities arranging them with you, playfully, supportively,
and with almost infinite understanding of sources, goals, opportunities,
threats
and potentials of assembly. They are ancient experts at highlighting
the single most important element in many simultaneous domains — and this results in a rolling wave of shockingly profound synthesis-bubbles
which continuously emerge (as though alive) from a magical pool of sentient
communion, in ever-increasing variety and velocity for however long one cares
to participate. If one turns one’s attention to regard any bubble, or
assembly of them — the process begins anew, with the new focus as the
source — but it refers to all previous experiences of this.
This results in kind of flowing cognitive enfoldment that builds new domains,
stages, and powers of connectivity — faster, by factors, each time
it is activated or attended — even vaguely.
With this connectivity open, when you think — you do so with
seven minds — five of which can be seen only by what they highlight
in the domain of potential, expression and experience. These other minds...grant
you scalarity of thought — and this unlocks your thinking
such that it becomes a font of incredibly connective prodigy, bubbling ever-more
complexly from the unity of your cognition with the adoring family of its
sources, dreams, and lineages. These minds are not mere things, they have
identity, character, emotion, and humor. Each one is like a complete entity
existing as a facet of another complete entity, at another scale.
When you ask a question, the sources of the question as well as the prominent
metaphors are contacted and sentiently introduce themselves with stories
of their genesis — spreading (alive, liquidly — musically)
like living biocognitive icons across across many positions
of history. Vast arrays of understanding organize themselves as though the
very fabric of knowledge were playfully, attentively, and adoringly sentient — and
they respond to your whim as if a universal celebration of joy was occurring
that crossed all time and space simply because you asked a question.
Thousands (perhaps billions of billions) of minds playfully assemble very
general stories and meaningTones — and the outcome is a form of
knowing that moves inward toward sources in scalar leaps, anytime
it is reached for at all. The result of the experience is that one is left
with something like an impossibility-toy of understanding: it appears as a
series of stories (that generally oppose our own dramatically) that are linked
into a playful and humorous symmetry.
This would perhaps be seen as merely some form of novel cognitive experience,
except that almost all of the result-mementoes are vastly more accurate
that any other mode of knowledge-reception. One learns more about a
topic of inquiry in 30 seconds than one could learn in ten years of study — because
the living poetics of sources and foundations the emerge as the topic sentiently
self-expands — in a joyful game with you — and
is thus humorously and hyperdramatically revealed during the ‘inward
travel’ that is the result of the question.
The result (which is more of a change of everything than a result) is a new form of metaphor — a sort of animated symbol that contains a timeline of its own lineages, relation and genesis. The emotional and intellectual function and shape of this ‘changing token’ reveals instantly something at least very close to the source(s) of the metaphor in accurate temporal sequence — that gains accuracy as it is attended. All human metaphors lead to a single source, our first experience with the formal symbolic potential for inward reflection — or thought. When we are allowed to survey the cognitive, emotional and psychological terrain with its participants, contexts and events arranged in ‘a generally more accurately self-expressing order’ we are at last personally and communally empowered to contact and experience directly something that is more than the source of religion, science and literature. It is more than the source of thought — even of organism. To behold these sources, or simulations of sources even vaguely more accurately — radically changes how a person’s mind works. It alters every token and assembly simultaneously by altering their roots and transports in a way that gains velocity and general accuracy with even the slightest modulation.
I hope to speak at length of
the ecstatic liquid knowing that is our birthright when in open unity with
our ‘regular connectivity sources’. For now, however, I wish to simply
attempt to record some of the revelations that I experienced at toyMaker’s
knee. Realize that the most important thing about the way our minds in action
differ from theirs is generality — in their language —
there is nothing but scalarly expanding parables. This leads to
a very unique form of wisdom-humor, which is hard to represent in human languages,
especially english. They abhor frozen tokens, of any kind — except
as very primitive tools.
One of the few examples I have seen of something vaguely akin to their own
humorous communications are the stories of David Brin’s where he is
imaginatively presenting humor amongst advanced dolphins.
I must caution the reader on
two points: one is the humility of my own position as translator — it
is impossible to accurately translate something that always moves and
thus must be touched directly to be understood. The reason I believe
the attempt valuable is because the semantic content of my primitive translations — still contains a cognitive genesis-factor — which
means you can absorb the correct key-elements from ‘regular understanding’ of
the stories presented, if you swallow them whole, rather than consuming their
surface-meanings.
The second reason my translations are bound for incompleteness is that the
knowing-pool of my visitors is so vast that the entirety of human recordings
and systems of knowing are like two tiny broken matchsticks in comparison.
Even more frustrating, any time they ‘answer’ a question — the
experience is like having the entirety of all questions answered, from the
perspective of the one at hand.
Interestingly, part of the reason
for the incompleteness, it is that we have a broken relationship with our
knowledge-toys —and I have to use those toys in a way generally
familiar to you, or my communication will be useless.
One experiences the sources of their knowing directly while in contact
with the coreFamily (or a messengerTransport) of one’s sentient lineages,
and those sources are, in every case, alive — in many scales, domains,
velocities, and positions. They are not like strings of tokens, axioms, or
the technically flat (monodimensional) knowledge-tokens of common humans.
Our error is simple: our tokens refer to tokens as their sources, &c.
We must reTurn to a place where we can together, re-connect the root tokens of
our knowing systems with their sources. Those sources are God(s) — or
something so alike with and different from this idea that we may need to
invent an entirely new idea. Completely new. One founded in contact
rather than codicil.
Nonetheless it is my humble hope that by sharing some of this material, others may find at least a clue to the present and accessible locations and transports for the ancient keys to the golden garden. Alive everywhere within and around us, the inhabitants hopefully await only our merest acknowledgement to leap into heroic celebration of our lineages, dreams, liberties, hopes — and sources.
These are my translations of meaningTones toyMaker expressed experientially with(in) me. If you imagined an infant attempting to create DNA with sticks and stones — that might compare to my position as a translator.
Humorously, toyMaker presented
herHimSelf as ‘like a small one’ or ‘like a very very ancient
infant’. If I felt small in comparison to him — he explained — imagine
what I would feel like in comparison to his source, to which he was almost
infinitesimally small, and young, in comparison.
I must add this final note: Our ancestors were not superstitious savages — they were children. In many ways they were wiser children than we
have been, or appear to be on the road to becoming at the moment. The stories
they handed down to us, of universal salvation, celestial heritage, apocalypse,
and their own often terrified codifications of their real experiences and
understandings come from a place which is neither imaginary, nor outside rationality.
It is, however, outside the form of rationality we practice — almost
entirely.
If one breaks the toy that allows
one to assemble the correct metaphor for God — you simultaneously
break every other possible toy — in a way that causes them to attack
children — all children. And our world is nothing but children.
Again, the stories of God, god(s), angels — and many other stories – these
are referring to a very real and accessible entity. Our stories
are strangely broken — to repair them we must forget them entirely for
a moment — and instead, reach again together for what they are born
from and direct our attention towards.
May my sources reveal and correct my errors, in all who read, record, reach
for contact, assemble, or come after my humble footsteps...may the sources
of sentient connectivity, in mutual adoration, rescue, and uplift prevail...
o:0:o
“My translator speaks for
uS, for wE have given this unto him as oUr adoring friend. His words are
human
and imperfect, yet our heartMind moves his, inspiring his action, and thus
his words and ourS are oneWord. Be small with us in order to underStand
what
is behind, before, after and underneath the words, and do not settle
for acquisition of the shell. Leave your skepticism aside, forget the frozen
idea — and ride with us instead...
...chase my rabbit — find his eggs. ”
*On ‘Familiarization’:
There is a playful and informative pun in how toyMaker might have parsed
this word with me, though I use only a recollection of our games to craft
it, since
he is not present with me in the way he was when he taught me: famili
arise(ing) at ion.
His meaningSong would be: a family is arising though EyeOns of (heartful)connectivity.
At the ion - or connectivity-particle - the family is arising.